by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 690thMost Devout: 969thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,766th
The Commonwealth of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Soli Deo gloria
Prime Minister John Howard
Provident Enforcer
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population6.093 billion

LeaderPrime Minister John Howard


The Commonwealth of Barlomia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Prime Minister John Howard with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, frequent executions, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.093 billion Barlomians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Barlo-Manchester. The average income tax rate is 88.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Barlomian economy, worth 577 trillion Barloes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 94,843 Barloes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea, even snitches get stitches, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, and hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barlomia's national animal is the Bazaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Barlomia is ranked 90,039th in the world and 4th in Veurrfold for Most Stationary, with 88.60628356972 Days.

Most Primitive: 690thMost Devout: 969thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,766thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 4,520thLowest Crime Rates: 6,822ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 7,512thBest Weather: 8,376thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,860thHighest Average Tax Rates: 9,196thTop
Safest: 11,390thMost Conservative: 11,839thMost Advanced Public Transport: 12,200thMost Corrupt Governments: 12,592ndLargest Governments: 13,561stMost Advanced Public Education: 13,973rdMost Beautiful Environments: 14,405thMost Efficient Economies: 14,645thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 15,521stMost Cultured: 16,813thMost Authoritarian: 17,001stMost Developed: 17,465thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,948th
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the region

National Happenings

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