The Most Serene Republic of Balkvla Islands is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its restrictive gun laws, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.833 billion Balkvla Islandsians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Welfare, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nimbasa City. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Balkvla Islandsian economy, worth 615 trillion hitoes a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 127,261 hitoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

On-duty Air Balkvla Islands flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class, at least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Leader's wardrobe, the justice of Balkvla Islands is considered superior to that of other nations, and crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Balkvla Islands's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Balkvla Islands is ranked 2,421^st in the world and 28^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 8,601.76 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.