by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 267thMost Primitive: 289thBest Weather: 412th
The Tolerant Left of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Didnít ask
Joseph R Mama
Influence
Squire
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Good
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Balkede

Population1.22 billion

CapitalBalkedesburg
LeaderJoseph R Mama
Faithreferencing Among Us

Currencydenarius
Animaloctopus

The Tolerant Left of Balkede is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Joseph R Mama with an iron fist, and remarkable for its fear of technology, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.22 billion Balkedans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balkedesburg. The average income tax rate is 79.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Balkedan economy, worth 67.7 trillion denarii a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 55,502 denarii, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty, the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country, and the seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balkede's national animal is the octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is referencing Among Us.

Balkede is ranked 239,180th in the world and 82nd in The DankLeft Commune for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -17.8 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 267thMost Primitive: 289thBest Weather: 412thHealthiest Citizens: 2,166thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,292ndTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 3,007thMost Pacifist: 3,555thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,795thSafest: 3,946thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,408thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,708thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,948thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,062ndNicest Citizens: 6,345thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,492ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,677thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,066thMost Income Equality: 7,246thLowest Crime Rates: 7,393rdMost Secular: 11,422ndTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 13,401stLargest Governments: 14,528thHighest Average Tax Rates: 15,899th
Top
5%
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 3rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionSafest: 4th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 6th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionMost Conservative: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Balkede was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Welfare Programs.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, the seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, gay men commonly complain about their time of the month.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, every workday begins with group therapy.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown.
  • : Following new legislation in Balkede, crop circles are intently studied by investigators with questionable merits.

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