The Kingdom of Balkan Vojvodina is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Nikolas I with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, strictly enforced bedtime, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5 billion Vojvodinians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brunberger. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Vojvodinian economy, worth 536 trillion Lulkas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 107,271 Lulkas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

A traveller who once stubbed a toe on an Air Brancaland flight has been offered asylum, King Nikolas I's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many, politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days, and engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?". Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balkan Vojvodina's national animal is the Eurasian Beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bergenism.

Balkan Vojvodina is ranked 175,921^st in the world and 149^th in New Western Empire for Most Primitive, scoring -155.76 on the Scary Big Number Scale.