by Max Barry

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Highest Wealthy Incomes: 205thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 220thLargest Insurance Industry: 230th
The Protectorate of
Corporate Police State
Determining who is smart and who was shot in the head.
Supreme Evil Overlord Balding
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Bald

Population23.952 billion

CapitalHairless City
LeaderSupreme Evil Overlord Balding
Faiththe Order of Saint Balding

CurrencyBald
AnimalBald Eagle

The Protectorate of Bald is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Evil Overlord Balding with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.952 billion Bald Bastards are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hairless City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Bald economy, worth a remarkable 8,401 trillion Balds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 350,755 Balds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,237,113 per year while the poor average 3,774, a ratio of 857 to 1.

Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, fire and brimstone sermons are accompanied by napalm and fragmentation bombs, it's entirely possible foreign diplomats misheard when Bald offered the words "peace be upon you", and twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bald's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Order of Saint Balding.

Bald is ranked 305,567th in the world and 7,052nd in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring -3 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 205thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 220thLargest Insurance Industry: 230thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 693rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 860thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,039thHighest Economic Output: 1,233rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,578thFattest Citizens: 1,588thLargest Black Market: 1,615thHighest Average Incomes: 1,717thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,971stLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,033rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,270thMost Stationary: 2,304thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,442ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,578thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,734thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,756thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,903rdTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3,137thMost Avoided: 3,177thLowest Crime Rates: 3,457thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,497thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,700thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,733rdLargest Retail Industry: 4,301stMost Efficient Economies: 5,373rdLargest Governments: 5,552ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,016thLargest Populations: 9,635thLargest Publishing Industry: 12,689thMost Influential: 13,120thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,461stMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,943rdMost Subsidized Industry: 15,135thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 16,905thMost Patriotic: 17,635thMost Armed: 17,679thLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,259thSmartest Citizens: 23,644thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 27,025thMost Pro-Market: 28,579th
Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 27th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Stationary: 35th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 36th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Black Market: 45th in the regionFattest Citizens: 45th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 56th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 59th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 66th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 66th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 69th in the regionMost Avoided: 69th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 73rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 75th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 76th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 78th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 79th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 83rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 88th in the regionLargest Populations: 110th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 133rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 144th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 170th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 221st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 233rd in the regionLargest Governments: 260th in the regionMost Armed: 328th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extreme: 356th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 382nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 469th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 475th in the regionMost Patriotic: 502nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 599th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces and Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Bald was struck by a Mk V (Cauterizer) Cure Missile from The American Insurgency of Former English Colony, curing 199 million infected.
  • : Bald was struck by a Mk V (Cauterizer) Cure Missile from The American Insurgency of Former English Colony, curing 379 million infected.

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