The Schizophrenic nightmare of B1gmen is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Plastic Man with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, national health service, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.576 billion Bes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Administration, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Badgeria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 43.5%.

The frighteningly efficient B1gmenian economy, worth 156 trillion Bazingas a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 99,183 Bazingas, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Bes struggle to cut steak with a spoon, a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went, people forget to eat because they are too busy singing Plastic Man's praises, and homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force. B1gmen's national animal is the Skeleton, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Destruction.

B1gmen is ranked 251,494^th in the world and 32^nd in The Guild of Generations for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 49.01 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.