by Max Barry

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46thLargest Information Technology Sector: 52ndLargest Black Market: 57th
The Helpdesk of
Iron Fist Consumerists
I think, therefor I can build big guns to shoot you.
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Avalnier

Population26.406 billion

CapitalFuzzybottom
LeaderBobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord
FaithThe Holy haberdashery of Batman

CurrencyChocolate Chip Pancake
AnimalBig Bird

The Helpdesk of Avalnier is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord with an iron fist, and renowned for its digital currency, otherworldly petting zoo, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.406 billion Avalnierians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fuzzybottom. The average income tax rate is 92.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Avalnierian economy, worth an astonishing 18,033 trillion Chocolate Chip Pancakes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is a breathtaking 682,934 Chocolate Chip Pancakes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines, the credibility of anti-government demagogues is undermined by government claims that they smell like poo, and citizens' names are redacted on their IDs for national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Avalnier's national animal is the Big Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Holy haberdashery of Batman.

Avalnier is ranked 297,428th in the world and 12,380th in Lazarus for Most Avoided, scoring 0.36 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46thLargest Information Technology Sector: 52ndLargest Black Market: 57thHighest Average Incomes: 117thMost Corrupt Governments: 124thMost Scientifically Advanced: 158thLargest Insurance Industry: 163rdHighest Economic Output: 187thMost Secular: 237thLowest Crime Rates: 239thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 301stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 397thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 397thHighest Poor Incomes: 452ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 484thLargest Mining Sector: 502ndMost Efficient Economies: 656thMost Subsidized Industry: 669thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 777thLargest Retail Industry: 782ndSmartest Citizens: 1,130thMost Developed: 1,134thLargest Governments: 1,233rdLongest Average Lifespans: 1,234thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,241stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,518thMost Patriotic: 1,539thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,646thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,676thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,730thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,798thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,078thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,311thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,327thMost Stationary: 2,481stTop
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Healthiest Citizens: 4,975thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,000thLargest Agricultural Sector: 5,113thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,260thLargest Gambling Industry: 6,292ndLargest Populations: 6,589thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,766thRudest Citizens: 8,824thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,323rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 11,418thMost Influential: 13,095thTop
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Largest Publishing Industry: 19,903rdMost Authoritarian: 21,208thLargest Welfare Programs: 25,845thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 28,634th
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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 7th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 8th in the regionMost Secular: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 9th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 17th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 19th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 28th in the regionMost Developed: 36th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 40th in the regionMost Stationary: 42nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 42nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 42nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 44th in the regionLargest Governments: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 53rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 62nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 62nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 75th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 82nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 85th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 96th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 100th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 112th in the regionTop
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Largest Populations: 214th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 240th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 247th in the regionMost Influential: 265th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 297th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 310th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 430th in the regionRudest Citizens: 443rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 446th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 448th in the regionTop
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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 623rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 995th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1,052nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1,072nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, citizens' names are redacted on their IDs for national security.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, the credibility of anti-government demagogues is undermined by government claims that they smell like poo.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas.
  • : Avalnier was reclassified from "Psychotic Dictatorship" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news.
  • : Following new legislation in Avalnier, industry tycoons rarely hide their misdeeds due to the government's habit of bailing them out.

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