by Max Barry

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Ready to take on a new age of technology?

Aren't you tired of carrying around that big, bulky smartphone? Don't you wish your pocket wasn't constantly taken up by that expensive, annoying brick? And it's not like you can go without one — these days, employers basically require one so you can do your job! Isn't it ridiculous?
Well, in Authoritaria-Imperia, we despise impracticality! So much so that we developed another way for you to stay connected! We call it… the SafetyWatch™ Lifeline!
It's a simple matter for you to get yours, and once you have it, we'll know where you are at all times, so you're always safe! And in Authoritaria-Imperia, we love safety. Plus, your pockets will be free!
In Authoritaria-Imperia, safety isn't bought for an exorbitant amount of money! It's not going to fall out of your pocket one day! No — here, safety is cheap, reliable, and subdermal!

At Authoritaria-Imperia, we seek to take on the future. Are you ready for what's next?

Kneadis Gape, Technology Advisor for the Great Empire of Authoritaria-Imperia
Note: The SafetyWatch™ Lifeline is not a replacement for an actual smartphone.

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