The Crownlands of Austria is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its punitive income tax rates, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 14.436 billion Austrians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Public Transport. The average income tax rate is 57.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Austrian economy, worth 39.3 trillion guldens a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 2,725 guldens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Austria's national animal is the alpenziege.

Austria is ranked 79,019^th in the world and 22^nd in Eastern Europe for Most Primitive, scoring 33.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.