The Malédiction de TSP of Auphelia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Mother of Exiles with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.141 billion huddled masseses are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Torture Labyrinth. The average income tax rate is 70.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient a huddled mass economy, worth a remarkable 1,031 trillion Bitternesses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 144,516 Bitternesses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A huddled mass tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany The Mother of Exiles to meetings with foreign heads of state, and the doctor has cold hands. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Auphelia's national animal is the Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Auphelia is ranked 201,750^th in the world and 7,488^th in the South Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -15.68 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.