The Eternal Autumn of Auphelia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Grand High Minister of Auphelia with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, soft-spoken computers, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.807 billion Councillors are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Torture Labyrinth. The average income tax rate is 72.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Councillor economy, worth a remarkable 1,098 trillion Bitternesses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 140,761 Bitternesses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Councillor tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany The Grand High Minister of Auphelia to meetings with foreign heads of state, and the doctor has cold hands. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Auphelia's national animal is the Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Auphelia is ranked 5,841^st in the world and 184^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,065.98 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.