The Sexy Returned Long Ago of Auphelia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by The Feminist Fatale with a fair hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, soft-spoken computers, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.463 billion Auphelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Virgo. The average income tax rate is 66.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Auphelian economy, worth 655 trillion Pains a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 146,875 Pains, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, and kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Auphelia's national animal is the Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Auphelia is ranked 7,215^th in the world and 270^th in the South Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 94.72 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.