The Free state of Astoniland is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by The United Military Command with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, flagrant waste-dumping, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.928 billion Astonilandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Batavedia. The average income tax rate is 55.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astonilandian economy, worth 263 trillion Astonils a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,852 Astonils, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

More than one company makes the board game Monopoly, tumbleweeds are seen blowing through the nation's airspace, immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day, and the "blue screen of death" forces many trials to be either aborted or restarted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astoniland's national animal is the coconut crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Laviosanism The Gladian Church.

Astoniland is ranked 42,780^th in the world and 11^th in Coldonia for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 137.47 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.