The Republic of Assorted Hag Number 8 is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.336 billion Assorted Hag Number 8ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Assorted Hag Number 8ian economy, worth 898 trillion bitcoins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 168,371 bitcoins, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Unstable couples are known to break up over which one gets parental leave, purported secret military bases are dismissed by Leader to be highly-advanced toilet factories, school children declare that teachers "may confiscate our toys but they can never take our FREEDOM", and the question of 'what is Leader's favorite color?' has been given a priority rating of burnt-orange. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Assorted Hag Number 8's national animal is the panther, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Assorted Hag Number 8 is ranked 15,646^th in the world and 45^th in Eye for Lowest Crime Rates, with 93.56 law-abiding acts per hour.