by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 99thMost Ignorant Citizens: 277thMost Devout: 301st
The Monarchic State of
Psychotic Dictatorship
you go to gulag!
Influence
Nipper
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Good
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Asltonia

Population6.715 billion

CapitalTri-sites
LeaderAlexander III
FaithAsltonism

CurrencyAlexander's head
AnimalChipmunk Bear

The Monarchic State of Asltonia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Alexander III with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, ban on automobiles, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.715 billion Asltonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tri-sites. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The Asltonian economy, worth 756 trillion Alexander's heads a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 112,674 Alexander's heads, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats, and the nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law (Asltonia has found 3 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Asltonia's national animal is the Chipmunk Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Asltonism.

Asltonia is ranked 305,970th in the world and 13,020th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring -16 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 99thMost Ignorant Citizens: 277thMost Devout: 301stMost Conservative: 468thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 478thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 953rdMost Patriotic: 1,798thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,870thMost Authoritarian: 2,940thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3,732ndMost Income Equality: 3,839thBest Weather: 4,088thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,383rdLowest Crime Rates: 5,471stLargest Black Market: 5,891stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6,003rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,249thMost Beautiful Environments: 8,992ndLargest Governments: 9,772ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,576thHighest Poor Incomes: 13,198thTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 15,866thMost Extreme: 24,598thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 28,735th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Conservative: 17th in the regionMost Devout: 17th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 30th in the regionMost Patriotic: 50th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 56th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 65th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 93rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Income Equality: 159th in the regionBest Weather: 195th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 257th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 279th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 303rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 315th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 340th in the regionMost Extreme: 425th in the regionLargest Black Market: 502nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 520th in the regionLargest Governments: 563rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 681st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 892nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 933rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, the nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law (Asltonia has found 3 easter eggs).
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, the jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, frustrated teenage boys are told that if they like it then they should have put a ring on it.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, renewable energy projects have ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in Asltonia, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.

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