Population | 6.715 billion |
Capital | Tri-sites |
Leader | Alexander III |
Faith | Asltonism |
Currency | Alexander's head |
Animal | Chipmunk Bear |
The Monarchic State of Asltonia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Alexander III with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, ban on automobiles, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.715 billion Asltonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tri-sites. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.
The Asltonian economy, worth 756 trillion Alexander's heads a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 112,674 Alexander's heads, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
The jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats, and the nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law (Asltonia has found 3 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Asltonia's national animal is the Chipmunk Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Asltonism.
Asltonia is ranked 305,970th in the world and 13,020th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring -16 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
- : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
- : Asltonia was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, the nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law (Asltonia has found 3 easter eggs).
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, the jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, frustrated teenage boys are told that if they like it then they should have put a ring on it.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, renewable energy projects have ground to a halt.
- : Following new legislation in Asltonia, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.