by Max Barry

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Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd Most Ignorant Citizens: 2nd Most Primitive: 2nd
The Eternal Misfortune of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Stop reading my motto!
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population9.916 billion

CapitalThe Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth
LeaderThe Executioner

CurrencyNuclear Bomb

The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.916 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Education receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth a remarkable 4,258 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 429,422 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's sophisticated talk of revolution within the ever-expanding mining colonies, adult stores are all sold out of whips, exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes, and birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Askatopia is ranked 9th in the world and 1st in the South Pacific for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 104,453.21 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 2ndMost Primitive: 2ndMost Devout: 3rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7thLargest Mining Sector: 9thMost Corrupt Governments: 54thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 90thHighest Poor Incomes: 96thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 97thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 101stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 114thMost Avoided: 128thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 149thLargest Black Market: 152ndFattest Citizens: 248thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 314thHighest Average Incomes: 412thLowest Crime Rates: 710thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,325thTop
Highest Economic Output: 1,778thLargest Governments: 2,570thNudest: 2,802ndMost Efficient Economies: 3,884thRudest Citizens: 5,318thMost Authoritarian: 5,756thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,940thMost Stationary: 6,125thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,033rdTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 8,613thMost Cultured: 9,527thMost Conservative: 9,916thMost Influential: 11,540thMost Extreme: 12,653rdMost Income Equality: 15,602nd
Most Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 8th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionFattest Citizens: 9th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 20th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 29th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 62nd in the regionLargest Governments: 63rd in the regionTop
Nudest: 71st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 120th in the regionMost Stationary: 125th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 138th in the regionRudest Citizens: 163rd in the regionLargest Populations: 205th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 212th in the regionMost Cultured: 267th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 294th in the regionTop
Most Conservative: 472nd in the regionMost Extreme: 482nd in the regionMost Influential: 653rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, adult stores are all sold out of whips.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, there's sophisticated talk of revolution within the ever-expanding mining colonies.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, it's considered a valid legal defence to say "a demon made me do it".
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, thousands of children die every day from easily curable illnesses.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, the legal system for the political class is completely separate from the one for normal citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Askatopia, the teaching of evolution has been banned.


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