The Imperial Free City of Aschenburg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Duke d' Bernhardi with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.832 billion Aschenburgarians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Education and Defense are also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of le Palais-Royal. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Aschenburgian economy, worth a remarkable 3,791 trillion Gold Aschenburg Crowns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 350,010 Gold Aschenburg Crowns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,429,011 per year while the poor average 17,645, a ratio of 137 to 1.

Biology and religious education classes have recently been merged, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects, EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, and dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Aschenburg's national animal is the Aschenburgarian Sailfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Royal Aschenburgarian Rite.

Aschenburg is ranked 134,592^nd in the world and 4,854^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 1,131.17 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.