by Max Barry

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Most Efficient Economies: 417th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 527th Largest Manufacturing Sector: 647th
The Imperial Commonwealth of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
For the Infinite, For the Empire!
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Imperial Commonwealth of Ascenon is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Alphonse with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, unlimited-speed roads, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 13.833 billion Ascenonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pandosut. The average income tax rate is 89.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ascenonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,804 trillion Imperial Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 275,011 Imperial Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, and Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ascenon's national animal is the Mutant Prism Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Infinite God Dragon.

Ascenon is ranked 150,219th in the world and 7,424th in The North Pacific for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 9.7 on the Kitten Softness Rating.

Most Efficient Economies: 417thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 527thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 647thLargest Black Market: 673rdMost Influential: 724thLargest Information Technology Sector: 940thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,223rdTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 1,569thHighest Average Incomes: 1,598thHighest Economic Output: 1,656thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,047thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,711thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,796thRudest Citizens: 2,944thLowest Crime Rates: 3,277thMost Avoided: 3,311thLargest Governments: 3,351stSmartest Citizens: 3,375thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,463rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,544thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,987thMost Secular: 3,987thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,093rdLargest Mining Sector: 4,459thLargest Retail Industry: 4,796thHealthiest Citizens: 5,584thLargest Gambling Industry: 5,887thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,960thMost Cultured: 6,444thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,540thLargest Populations: 7,460thTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 7,814thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,562ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,945thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,980thMost Inclusive: 11,753rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,912th
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Black Market: 16th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 18th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 41st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 45th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 53rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 53rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 64th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 65th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 71st in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 76th in the regionLargest Populations: 77th in the regionMost Avoided: 105th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 121st in the regionLargest Governments: 125th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 126th in the regionRudest Citizens: 128th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 136th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 136th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 140th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 141st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 170th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 177th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 217th in the regionMost Secular: 225th in the regionMost Influential: 226th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 238th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 252nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 275th in the regionMost Cultured: 278th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 301st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 306th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 352nd in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 394th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 674th in the regionMost Inclusive: 704th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance".
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, political candidates are regularly blocked for minor convictions from their teenage years.
  • : Following new legislation in Ascenon, the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning.


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