The Most Serene Republic of Arzovia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Malcolm de Blasé with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 24.159 billion Arzovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Roma-Sparta. The average income tax rate is 68.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Arzovés economy, worth a remarkable 1,688 trillion Golden Suns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,876 Golden Suns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Girls who wear lipstick are berated for pandering to male gazes, the endangered saltwater humpback Flamingo is only seen in captivity programs, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, and church and state are inseparable in their influence on education. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arzovia's national animal is the Flamingo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Arzovia is ranked 9,567^th in the world and 3^rd in The Equator for Most Primitive, scoring 95.24 on the Scary Big Number Scale.