The Republic of Arquan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Kalea Valerius with a fair hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 17.028 billion Arquanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Casteldo. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Arquanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,286 trillion Spoons a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,257 Spoons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot, the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people', guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, and children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arquan's national animal is the Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Arquan is ranked 3,700^th in the world and 224^th in The North Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 22.4 bananas ingested per day.