The Republic of Aroni is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Seth Smith with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.592 billion Aronians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Guzbek. The average income tax rate is 71.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Aronian economy, worth a remarkable 2,077 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 371,490 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The doctor has cold hands, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, the nation is known abroad for fast food and nothing else, and maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aroni's national animal is the Aronian Condor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aroni is ranked 1,007^th in the world and 1^st in The Authoritarian Confederacy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 154.14 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.