The Holy Meritocratic Republic of Argyres is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Iason Argyres with a fair hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, anti-smoking policies, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 35.568 billion Argyris live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Adelphia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Argyri economy, worth a remarkable 6,666 trillion Stephanies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 187,441 Stephanies, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 954,811 per year while the poor average 20,308, a ratio of 47.0 to 1.

Bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, at least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Iason Argyres's wardrobe, and old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Argyres's national animal is the moose, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Argyres is ranked 240,724^th in the world and 13^th in The New Meritocracy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 32.01 law-abiding acts per hour.