The Holy Meritocratic Republic of Argyres is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Iason Argyres with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, deadly medical pandemics, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 37.046 billion Argyris live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Adelphia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Argyri economy, worth a remarkable 6,943 trillion Stephanies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 187,438 Stephanies, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 942,828 per year while the poor average 20,826, a ratio of 45.3 to 1.

At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Iason Argyres's wardrobe, old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, and couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Argyres's national animal is the moose, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Argyres is ranked 272,532^nd in the world and 15^th in The New Meritocracy for Most Patriotic, with 0.31 flags saluted per person per day.