by Max Barry

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Most Devout: 1,236thHealthiest Citizens: 3,836thLowest Crime Rates: 5,085th
The Caliphate of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Ard al Islam

Population5.716 billion

LeaderKhalid Shah Durrani


The Caliphate of Ard al Islam is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Khalid Shah Durrani with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 5.716 billion Muslims are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Madinah. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Islamic economy, worth 694 trillion Dinars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,455 Dinars, with the richest citizens earning 9.9 times as much as the poorest.

Harry Potter books are banned, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones, billions of Dinars are being blown on orbital weapons development, and the military has gone fission for more funding. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ard al Islam's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Islam.

Ard al Islam is ranked 262,935th in the world and 1st in Organization of Islamic Cooperation for Most Avoided, scoring 0.66 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Most Devout: 1,236thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 3,836thLowest Crime Rates: 5,085thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,399thBest Weather: 5,631stLongest Average Lifespans: 6,065thMost Conservative: 8,893rdMost Developed: 9,198thMost Armed: 9,204thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,899thMost Valuable International Artwork: 10,167thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,754thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,860thSafest: 11,744thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,085thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,135thLargest Governments: 13,538thTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 14,510thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,683rdMost Beautiful Environments: 14,808thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,873rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,114thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,525thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17,612thSmartest Citizens: 18,266thMost Efficient Economies: 23,301stMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,399thLargest Welfare Programs: 23,784thLargest Agricultural Sector: 23,881stHighest Average Incomes: 25,566thHighest Food Quality: 26,599th

National Happenings

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