The Republic of Aquilonia-Caithness is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and enforced nudity. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.986 billion Aquilonia-Caithnessians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aquilonia-Caithness City. Income tax is unheard of.

The thriving Aquilonia-Caithnessian economy, worth a remarkable 2,470 trillion flayed chinchilla skins a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 79,724 flayed chinchilla skins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Economic output is rising as the chronically depressed are persuaded not to burden society, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears, rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes, and the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aquilonia-Caithness's national animal is the phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is a major religion.

Aquilonia-Caithness is ranked 151,052^nd in the world and 2^nd in Katasia for Most Devout, with 2.46 Prayers Per Hour.