The Republic of Aquilonia-Caithness is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, sprawling nuclear power plants, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 41.784 billion Aquilonia-Caithnessians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aquilonia-Caithness City. Income tax is unheard of.

The thriving Aquilonia-Caithnessian economy, worth a remarkable 3,390 trillion flayed chinchilla skins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, extremely specialized black market in Gambling and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 81,134 flayed chinchilla skins, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

The mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, the most popular stadium acts are one-off performances, exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling, and citizens are deeply regretting challenging the government to be honest about its intentions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aquilonia-Caithness's national animal is the phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is a major religion.

Aquilonia-Caithness is ranked 27^th in the world and 1^st in Katasia for Most Stationary, with 6,710.66237184 days.