The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Queen Shrub with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, complete lack of public education, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.194 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florapolis. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth a remarkable 5,892 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 415,130 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shoppers have literally had their hands full since plastic bags were banned, the nation is the South Pacific's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters, waste is frequently shipped to other countries, and most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Food.

Aqualagoon is ranked 293,053^rd in the world and 7,216^th in the South Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 7,887.48 Standard Monetary Units.