The Really Awful Under-Matrix of Appendia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Friend Benjamin Turkey-Quail with a fair hand, and remarkable for its fear of technology, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 2.052 billion Human Friends enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, outspoken morass — prioritizes Education, with Environment, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Defense and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll. The average income tax rate is 78.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Human Friend economy, worth 84.2 trillion Friendships a year, is highly specialized and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 41,018 Friendships, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation refuses to provide international aid, diplomatic cables about King Friend Benjamin Turkey-Quail have suddenly been very flattering, visions of giant pink Turkey-Quails are a common side effect after Human Friends eat their meals, and cheap textbooks have replaced coasters at college ragers. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Appendia's national animal is the Turkey-Quail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Appendia is ranked 95,636^th in the world and 244^th in Forest for Highest Drug Use, scoring 71.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.