The Terrible Swift Sword of AOWS is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 20.482 billion AOWSians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 45.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming AOWSian economy, worth a remarkable 1,932 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 94,331 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Anyone who sneezes at border crossings is turned away, children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet, access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, and birth rates have hit an all-time low. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. AOWS's national animal is the laughing swordfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

AOWS is ranked 103,112^th in the world and 1^st in Alliance of World Socialists for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.51 law-abiding acts per hour.