The Do Min COMINY of Anxiety Cafe is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Jan Smuts with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, unlimited-speed roads, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 16.86 billion South Africans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pretoria. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient South African economy, worth a remarkable 4,529 trillion South African Rand a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 268,674 South African Rand, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

'dead men tell no tales' is a valid legal defense, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of experimental delivery drones, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, and naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Anxiety Cafe's national animal is the animal, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is religion.

Anxiety Cafe is ranked 241,439^th in the world and 45^th in Democritus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 6.15 Tourists Per Hour.