The Regional Air Conditioner of Anxiety Cafe is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Carlos Sánchez with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, smutty television, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 13.851 billion San Martinians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rivadavia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient San Martinian economy, worth a remarkable 3,693 trillion Southern pesos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 266,628 Southern pesos, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,145,875 per year while the poor average 39,647, a ratio of 28.9 to 1.

'dead men tell no tales' is a valid legal defense, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of experimental delivery drones, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, and naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Anxiety Cafe's national animal is the Andean Condor, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Anxiety Cafe is ranked 1,413^th in the world and 2^nd in Democritus for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 10,857.95 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.