The Kingdom of Gopla of Ancient Poland is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Boleslaw VI with an even hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, infamous sell-swords, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 3.679 billion Goplans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jazgarzewszczyzna. The average income tax rate is 54.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ancient Polandian economy, worth 463 trillion zloties a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 125,981 zloties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends, boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard, the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks, and Goplans are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ancient Poland's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Gopla.

Ancient Poland is ranked 13,116^th in the world and 4^th in Kali Yuga for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 5,763.15 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.