The Unahted States of Amurikah is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, ruled by Prezidant George Dubya Bush with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, zero percent divorce rate, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 10.669 billion Amurikans are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wahshintun De-Ceh. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.6%.

The strong Amurikan economy, worth a remarkable 1,164 trillion Dollahs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 109,167 Dollahs, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 630,215 per year while the poor average 9,031, a ratio of 69.8 to 1.

Increasing numbers of children in Amurikah have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers, radio stations are forbidden to play anything with too much drum or bass, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card, and troop transports blacken the sky as the military commences Operation Desert Ocean. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force. Amurikah's national animal is the Bahld Eegull, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Amurikah is ranked 185,744^th in the world and 8,200^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 57.95 law-abiding acts per hour.