The Most Serene Republic of Alphacon is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 14.105 billion Alphaconians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of White City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Secret Independent economy, worth a remarkable 6,249 trillion Rubies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 443,083 Rubies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All the playground's a stage for Secret Independent schoolchildren, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, children listen incredulously when their grandparents explain what a "running river" is, and the government says that Possession is nine-tenths of the Lore. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alphacon's national animal is the Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alphacon is ranked 45,834^th in the world and 1^st in The Secret Natural Habitats for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 3,949.43 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.