The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 22.966 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,463 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 194,362 Warts, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

The military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", bicyclists are banned from major roads, island residents must resort to canoes and sailboats to get to work, and even in a one-horse town police are as common as fleas on a stray dog. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 26,694^th in the world and 592^nd in the Rejected Realms for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 7.37 Bank.