The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, strictly enforced bedtime, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 19.145 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 3,531 trillion Warts a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 184,452 Warts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government-sponsored autobiography 'A President Warton For All Seasons' has only been bought by the most loyal of President Warton's supporters, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Allwartsians can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying, history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students, and no animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 5,583^rd in the world and 131^st in the West Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 141 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.