The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 22.378 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,372 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 195,393 Warts, with the richest citizens earning 6.6 times as much as the poorest.

Dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, theoretical science is only theoretical, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, and senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 129,980^th in the world and 4,232^nd in the Rejected Realms for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 1,289.58 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.