by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 754thLargest Insurance Industry: 833rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,489th
The Retired nerd of
Psychotic Dictatorship
We are the light at the end of the tunnel
Makrov Gaxio
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.2 billion

CapitalNew Tirana
LeaderMakrov Gaxio

AnimalBlack Eagle

The Retired nerd of ALBANIASTAAN is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Makrov Gaxio with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, keen interest in outer space, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.2 billion Albanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 94.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Albanians economy, worth 873 trillion Ki'ods a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 272,993 Ki'ods, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

News editors who eschew the state-approved superlatives for describing Makrov Gaxio tend to disappear, the government loves seeing the little people fight, Albanians soldiers know how to create single mothers in more ways than one, and the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ALBANIASTAAN's national animal is the Black Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None.

ALBANIASTAAN is ranked 12,638th in the world and 320th in The North Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 87.5 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 754thLargest Insurance Industry: 833rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,489thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,635thMost Patriotic: 1,784thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,024thLowest Crime Rates: 2,494thTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 2,939thMost Secular: 3,324thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,524thHighest Average Incomes: 4,003rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,190thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,276thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,379thLargest Governments: 4,995thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,206thLargest Mining Sector: 5,468thMost Authoritarian: 6,121stHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,231stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,798thMost Developed: 6,882ndLongest Average Lifespans: 7,788thLargest Black Market: 8,461stHealthiest Citizens: 9,277thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,401stHighest Poor Incomes: 10,846thMost Conservative: 12,638thSmartest Citizens: 12,806thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 15,332ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,993rdLargest Retail Industry: 16,422ndMost Subsidized Industry: 16,989thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 17,119thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 21,428th
Largest Insurance Industry: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 28th in the regionMost Patriotic: 47th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 53rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 56th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 59th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 60th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 87th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 90th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 91st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 109th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 123rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 129th in the regionMost Secular: 132nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 137th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 143rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 150th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 151st in the regionLargest Governments: 226th in the regionMost Extreme: 233rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 275th in the regionTop
Most Conservative: 320th in the regionMost Developed: 343rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 385th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 425th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 442nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 455th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 459th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 468th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 476th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 593rd in the region

National Happenings

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