by Max Barry

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The People's Republic of
Left-Leaning College State

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4 Tenants of Alangradian Socialist Development

Alangradian Socialism has four distinct characteristics, solidly grounded in established theory.

1. Prevent the rise of the new class that dominates so many Socialist nations, the party bureaucracy. Eliminate the party dogmatism that dominate systems like Zennyism-Piperism, Maoism, and Stalinism. Apply the principles set forth in Milovan Djilas's seminal work, The New Class: an Analysis of the Communist System, published in 1957. Largely Decentralize Government power to local worker's council.

2. To maximize the economy, adopt Titoist style profit sharing practices and worker owned industries. Allow extremely liberal economic policies and any private Economic practices that can exist within the framework of socialism. Subsidize state industries and businesses without hesitation. High wages. High tax rates.

3. Build the military along Hoxhaism lines - prioritizing defence spending above all else, always. Conscription and backyard bunkers are a must. Build nuclear weapons. Export the Alangradian model through invasion.

4. Once, the dictatorship of the proletarian phase has established a successful economy and military, maximize civil and political rights. Short of rebelling, people can do whatever they want. Legalized drugs, street racing, no laws surrounding smoking or alcohol. Screw the environment. A decentralized the government. No jails. Anything goes as long as the economy and military stay strong.

Some may call Alangradian Socialism a "goulash communism." However, it's given us the largest manufacturing sector, average income, and military in the Bloc. We've thought a lot about this.

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