The Gradual Disintegration of Alan is a gargantuan, genial nation, remarkable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 22.819 billion Alanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City of First Light. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.2%.

The strong Alanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,331 trillion single-origin chocolate bars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 58,372 single-origin chocolate bars, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

It's often raining men (hallelujah) in The City of First Light, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, solid-gold toilets are Alanian prisons' least expensive furnishings, and bars are packed at all hours. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Alan's national animal is the malfunctioning blue keyboard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alan is ranked 71,028^th in the world and 35^th in Hippy Haven for Highest Drug Use, scoring 85.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.