The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by El Guapo with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of prisons, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 34.947 billion Afi-Aftosians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Industry, although Healthcare and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dreck City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 57.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 6,354 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Gambling, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 181,820 Fishterous Correlations, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign policy often involves bullwhips and leather, ad hoc militias patrol the streets in an effort to control rampant crime, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations, and nobody is forced to join the armed forces. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 159,864^th in the world and 3^rd in Fredonia for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -20.67 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.