by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 254thMost Avoided: 377thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 441st
The Emirate of
Corporate Police State
خداى زموږ دښمنانو ته سزا ورکړئ
Influence
Power
Region
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Afghanystan

Population5.014 billion

CapitalKabul
LeaderMost Supreme Commander Haibatullah Manan
FaithSunni Islam

CurrencyAfghani
AnimalMarkhor

The Emirate of Afghanystan is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Most Supreme Commander Haibatullah Manan with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, digital currency, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.014 billion Afghans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Spirituality, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kabul. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Afghan economy, worth a remarkable 1,670 trillion Afghanis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 333,076 Afghanis, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', childish pranks are no laughing matter, schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts, and men's magazines give handy tips on the most effective way to throw heavy stones. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Afghanystan's national animal is the Markhor, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Afghanystan is ranked 239,162nd in the world and 3rd in Afghanistan for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring -10.49 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 254thMost Avoided: 377thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 441stFattest Citizens: 456thHighest Disposable Incomes: 480thMost Devout: 501stMost Armed: 519thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 582ndMost Corrupt Governments: 589thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 874thRudest Citizens: 971stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 980thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,108thHighest Crime Rates: 1,152ndLargest Insurance Industry: 1,204thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,343rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,491stLargest Gambling Industry: 1,568thLargest Mining Sector: 1,604thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,756thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,971stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,997thTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 2,710thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,813thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,068thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,296thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,244thSmartest Citizens: 7,197thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,823rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,833rdHighest Poor Incomes: 8,262ndHighest Economic Output: 10,199thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 12,481stLargest Black Market: 13,647thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 15,736thMost Cultured: 16,987thMost Subsidized Industry: 19,063rdMost Stationary: 22,344thMost Influential: 22,362nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, men's magazines give handy tips on the most effective way to throw heavy stones.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, childish pranks are no laughing matter.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu'.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, billions of Afghanis are being blown on orbital weapons development.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, the military has declared that 'a woman's place is in the mess hall'.

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