by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 237thMost Devout: 363rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 365th
The Emirate of
Corporate Police State
خداى زموږ دښمنانو ته سزا ورکړئ
Influence
Power
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Afghanystan

Population5.882 billion

CapitalKabul
LeaderMost Supreme Commander Haibatullah Manan
FaithSunni Islam

CurrencyAfghani
AnimalMarkhor

The Emirate of Afghanystan is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Most Supreme Commander Haibatullah Manan with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, sprawling nuclear power plants, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.882 billion Afghans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kabul. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Afghan economy, worth a remarkable 2,084 trillion Afghanis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 354,469 Afghanis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,876,107 per year while the poor average 35,505, a ratio of 52.8 to 1.

Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices, government agents scour baking periodicals for subversive recipes, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities, and psychological disorders are a taboo subject. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Afghanystan's national animal is the Markhor, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Afghanystan is ranked 45,617th in the world and 1st in Afghanistan for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 3.3 Bank.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 237thMost Devout: 363rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 365thFattest Citizens: 373rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 382ndMost Avoided: 403rdMost Corrupt Governments: 416thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 563rdMost Armed: 582ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 598thMost Patriotic: 721stRudest Citizens: 747thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 799thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 931stLargest Insurance Industry: 934thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 963rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,237thHighest Average Incomes: 1,249thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,406thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,415thMost Efficient Economies: 1,807thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,816thHighest Crime Rates: 1,892ndLargest Gambling Industry: 1,945thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,136thTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 2,670thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,394thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,848thSmartest Citizens: 5,141stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,847thLargest Governments: 7,677thHighest Economic Output: 8,116thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,865thTop
10%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 10,907thMost Cultured: 11,744thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,360thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18,437thMost Pro-Market: 19,379thLargest Black Market: 19,795thMost Stationary: 20,172ndMost Influential: 20,459th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, psychological disorders are a taboo subject.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, government agents scour baking periodicals for subversive recipes.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, government popup ads are springing up like weeds.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, going on a diet invalidates your passport.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, it is a silent spring in Afghanystan.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, government statistics suggest 115% of the population love Most Supreme Commander Haibatullah Manan.
  • : Following new legislation in Afghanystan, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper.

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