The Republic of Aetulia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Anthony Jackson with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, aversion to nipples, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 6.09 billion Aetulians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valyria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Aetulian economy, worth a remarkable 2,011 trillion Drakkars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 330,340 Drakkars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,292,385 per year while the poor average 57,522, a ratio of 22.5 to 1.

Captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, unshaven men are viewed with suspicion in courts of law, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aetulia's national animal is the Dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aetulia is ranked 138,957^th in the world and 7,741^st in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 48.52 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.