The Bardic Lorekeepers of Aethelia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by JEM with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.364 billion Aethelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luna. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Aethelian economy, worth a remarkable 5,546 trillion newtons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 302,006 newtons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers, people across the world seek to be healthier by eliminating carbs, saying "don't do anything that JEM wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, and jokes told in elementary school often come back to haunt politicians. Crime is totally unknown. Aethelia's national animal is the aurora, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Science.

Aethelia is ranked 222^nd in the world and 1^st in Topid for Healthiest Citizens, with 45.79 Bananas Ingested Per Day.