The Bardic Lorekeepers of Aethelia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by JEM with a fair hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, anti-smoking policies, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.274 billion Aethelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luna. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Aethelian economy, worth a remarkable 7,124 trillion newtons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 319,870 newtons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, being JEM has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs, the ABI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays, and movies depict muscle-bound women kicking down a titanium door to carry hysterical men to safety. Crime is totally unknown. Aethelia's national animal is the aurora, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Science.

Aethelia is ranked 2,301^st in the world and 4^th in International Democratic Union for Lowest Crime Rates, with 128.14 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.