The Bardic Lorekeepers of Aethelia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by JEM with a fair hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, soft-spoken computers, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.836 billion Aethelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luna. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Aethelian economy, worth a remarkable 6,096 trillion newtons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 307,343 newtons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new 'Who Wants To Be A Politician' election debate auditions are more popular than the debates themselves, Aethelian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, and military parades quietly tiptoe their way through the streets. Crime is totally unknown. Aethelia's national animal is the aurora, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Science.

Aethelia is ranked 170,560^th in the world and 106^th in Union of Free Nations for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -51.62 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.