by Max Barry

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The Unified Federation of
Iron Fist Consumerists

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Factbook Index

I: Quantity
Total active manpower in regular armed forces: 300,200,000
- Equipped with Type 8V Assault Rifles, which can be swapped out for Westlocke-2 shotguns for close combat, as well as older Westlocke-A111 carbines if supplies are running low.

Total reserves/paramilitary: 50,550,000

Total number of citizens fit for service: 1,200,000,000
- Aeisonia has a policy of "Total War". After secondary schooling, Aeisonians must undertake at least a year of military training. If the time comes for war, one of the largest armies in human history can be drafted and deployed at a moments notice.

Number of tanks: 5,000,000
- The Aeisonian military uses the amphibious Trout-78s as their MBTs, in addition to Dragon-II infantry tanks equipped with machine guns instead of cannons.

Number of armoured vehicles: 40,000,000
- Most of the armored vehicles used are Mercury-Omega APCs. These are troop transports equipped with a primitive repulsor engine that allows them to traverse all terrains.

Number of ships: 1,000,000
- The Aeisonian army possesses a large amount of navy craft. These are the ones used.

Aircraft carriers: Aeisonia uses the "Victory at Vegas" (Aeison-5CC) as their mobile high command. This is a "supercarrier", and is about 50x larger than regular aircraft carriers. It is equipped with state-of-the-art H-2 CIWS systems to destroy incoming projectiles, as well as numerous missile batteries carrying multiple designations of surface to air, and surface to ground missiles. The carrier is also equipped with sonar guided torpedos and one of the largest mobile radar systems in the entire world. Any other aircraft carrier in the fleet is an "Aeison-5" and is essentially a stripped down and smaller version of the Vegas.

Helicopter Carriers: Aeisonia uses the relatively small and outdated "Jameson-2" as their helicopter carriers. There are not many in the fleet, as most of their use has been farmed out to the new Aeison-5 aircraft carriers. They possess no weapons systems other than 3 H-1 CIWS turrets, and they mainly play a transport only role in combat.

Destroyers: The "Slavemaster-15" is the destroyer of choice in the fleet. It is an incredible craft, and one of the most refined designs of any Aeisonian military vehicle. It is equipped with every kind of naval weapon that Aeisonia has to offer, from it's five 120mm turrets to its numerous missile batteries, it is one of the most iconic craft in the Aeisonian fleet.

Frigates: The "Kronos-1" and the "Prowess-2" are the two types of frigate in the fleet. The Prowess is a more outdated model, used mainly to transport supplies for large invasion forces and fleets, while the Kronos is used for defense of transports.

Submarines: The "X-1" is the submarine used by the Aeisonian fleet. It is equipped with 10 torpedos, 5 ICBM silos, and can deploy midget submarines from its sides.

Transport craft: "TCA-20". A name that holds legendary status in the fleet. One of the oldest types of craft in the fleet, the TCA-20 can transport up to a staggering 10,000 troops, and is optimized for capacity rather than comfort. It's younger brother, the XTCA-1, is currently under development. It can hold twice the troops, has space for weapons on the deck, and can dive under the waves for 5 hours at a time.

Number of aircraft: 2,000,000
- The Aeisonian Air Force (AAF) uses:

Fighter/bomber/interceptor: The AFA-11 is a hybrid of three classes of aircraft, and is so versatile that it can be used in almost any situation. It can be fitted with a VTOL engine, folding wings for carrier service, weapon racks for extra missile capacity, etc. It has 6 45mm guns in its front and wings, and a maximum capacity of 18 missiles and 4 bombs

Transport: The THMK-6 is the helicopter that does most of the heavy lifting in the fleet. It carries 75000kgs of cargo, and is one of the most fuel efficient aircraft in existence, using a friction-based membrane coating to generate 30% of its required power, while the remaining 70% comes from a small nuclear reactor put toward the engine unit.

Attack: The IGNIS9 gunship is used primarily as an attack craft. It holds 4 rocket pods and 10 air-to-surface missiles. It is also equipped with a H-2 chaingun attached to the front of the craft.

Defense spending % of GDP: 33%

II: Quality
Morale on a scale of 1 ("I didn't sign up for this s**t!") to 10 (Fanatical nationalists): 8
Training quality from 1 (Special needs forces) to 10 (Professional): 7
Tech Level: 2080s Level Postmodern
Battle-tested from 1 (never fought a war before) to 10 ('I live on the battlefield"): 9

Link This is the song mostly associated with the Aeisonian military, after Kohl Williams made his patriotic video on the armed forces reaching the pacific ocean at California.

III: Advanced Weapons
Variations: Genesis-C, Genesis-N
Description: Missile rods fired down from low orbit via satellite. Genesis-N uses nuclear waste to irradiate the area it strikes

Variations: Ender I Elementary Particle Splitter Bomb (EEPSB)
Description: Project Ender was the result of the military's R&D department receiving an overly generous grant, and subsequently creating a bomb that can literally crack planetary cores at full power. It is used to wipe out entire countries (or continents) in one go.

Due to its overwhelming complexity and cost to make, there are only 3 in existence, and they only exist in the form of a manually placed bomb.

Variations: Hermes Early Warning Network, Athena Early Counter Network, Zeus Planetary Protection Network
Description: After many encounters with extra-terrestrials with superior tech, the Aeisonian government decided that planet Earth wasnít as safe as they thought, this spawning Project Olympus, which can consists of multiple satellite networks at multiple locations throughout the solar system. The levels of ability for the networks are below.

This network is designed to warn high command of any hostile vessels entering the system. It utilises a high-speed relay network to get information to high-command fast.

This network goes hand in hand with Hermes, able to respond to a threat by using automated and hidden battle satellites, before high-command hears about it. It utilises EMP weapons and high powered lasers to fend off foes.

The final line of defence for Earth, and thus the most powerful. Zeus is controlled entirely by humans, limiting robotic error. Itís purpose? To form a literal laser field around the planet, prevent nearly all largeships from entering orbit.

A massive array of accelerated particles laser capable of destroying very large ships. Fired from Earth and very lethal. Created during the Great Aeisonian Space War by a commissioned scientist.

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The ACOA is a top secret office that serves as Aeisonia's federal intelligence agency, the overseas intelligence agency, and a hub for covert operations. The ACOA is so large and influential it's considered it's own government department (The Department of Covert Operations) and has many subdivisions, including:

- ACOA International Operations, which is responsible for covert overseas operations, usually with larger nations. They are the best equipped division of ACOA, making use of Retro-Reflective Covert Drop Aircraft, Type 2 Covert Operative Armor, which is equipped with EMP protection and retro-reflective plates covering the exterior, and their own R&D department, which was responsible for creating the EEPSB (more info in military factbooks). In large-scale operations, ACOA-I can bring down a small nation within a month, such was the case with Katuosk, a small state (formerly) to the north-east of Aeisonia.

- ACOA Homeland Operations, which is responsible for matters within state borders. Much like the American FBI, ACOA-H investigates law breaking behavior at home, and due to the little bureaucracy in Aeisonia, can link up with ACOA-I for extended operations. ACOA-H operatives wear seal-grey suits, which are made from bullet-resistant Sky-Whale skin, and carry Westlocke-77 pistols (which are swapped out for Type 5V assault rifles when necessary). ACOA-H operatives have a government approved license to kill any suspect without a proper reason, and due to Aeisonia's lack of prisons, this is encouraged.

???- ACOA Division X (?), which not much is known about. They are known to be part of The Presidentís guard detail, but their equipment is highly classified, as is where they are also in service. Due to illegal photos taken of these operatives, we can guess about their armament. After circulating through anonymous military equipment experts, we can say that they are equipped with an unidentifiable form of assault rifle, known as the Type-X by these equipment experts. They are definitely equipped with some kind of retro reflection gear, but not the type used by ACOA-I. The type used by ACOA-X appears to be much more advanced, completely concealing the user rather than providing only primitive invisibility. These are known among experts as the Type 2A. Lastly, on one of the leaked photos, a small device is seen on each leg of the ACOA-X operatives. A defected Aeisonian R&D scientist said that this device were repulsor jump boosters, and allow the wearer to jump over 20 meters into the air at a time. It is still unconfirmed. Not much else is known about this mysterious unit, but they are no doubt elite.

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The President of Aeisonia. One of the greatest enigmas in modern politics. Name unknown. Background unknown. Perpetually unaging. Who is he? How old is he? Is he even a person?

Yes he is. But he isnít a person. He is a people.

Aeisonia works in a strange way. It is governed by [REDACTED], who control [REDACTED]. However, nobody can know what they do. Aeisonia is a widely hated country, and it makes them a target for assassinations and other political mishaps. It can also become a cause of political discourse in Aeisonia, with people vying for power and fame, factions forming, people supporting those this power, etc. With absolute secrecy, a lot of these problems can be eliminated. Nobody will try to become famous through governance, because nobody will know they exist. Nobody can support them, because nobody knows they exist.

Where does The President fit into this? He is a figurehead. A pawn. A target, almost. You see, The President is an empty shell designed to take orders from the people upstairs. He was genetically engineered from birth as a clone, with thousands more just like him ready in vats for when he inevitably dies. These clones are designed to not visibly age, barely be able to make decisions on their own, and have memories artificially given to them. They are given the same personality and experiences, so they are all exactly the same. When one of them dies, the memories are extracted and pushed into the next one. The cycle continues.

This may seem cruel, but it is necessary for political stability. The people worship one man, the government follows one man. One man with set beliefs. One man to look up to. One man who never dies. The immortal, unkillable man. Sustained with a lifeblood of a thousand lifeless bodies waiting for their turn in line. All to follow the orders of a few.

A god imprisoned.

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The President
The highest-up member of the Aeisonian government. Our current President is [CLEARED], who was elected [INFORMATION EDITED]. He is able to pass or veto any law or make any change to government structure. He is essentially an absolute monarch, minus the monarchy. He does, however, choose to have many ministers to carry out actions on his behalf, as you will see below.

The second-highest members of government, these people report directly to the President. There is a minister at the head of each government department. These departments include (in order of influence):
- Department of Administration
- Department of Defence
- Department of Finance
- Department of Homeland Security (mainly law enforcement)
- Department of Covert Operations
- Department of Trade
- Department of Ideology
- Department of Infrastructure
- Department of Education
- Department of Health

Each minister, if authorized, can give orders to their respective department on behalf of the President. Their main job, though, is to carry out the will of The President throughout the departments.

The job of these people is to head separate divisions within a department. They report to the minister of that respective department and carry out the will of them in their divisions. Their duty is to manage less pressing matters in their department.

Taskforce/Committee Head
The job of these people is to manage a group of people within a department that are designated to carry out a specific task that the division supervisor cannot. They report to the Division Director, or if they are special committee, the minister of their department.

Public Servants
The lowest designation, public servants are members of government that are recruited for good work in the military, or if they are intellectuals. They carry out the work that no-one else wants to do, like answering emails, doing financial calculations, writing speeches, ferrying papers, and other menial tasks. Usually there will be a public servant with a higher designation to lead them. Some promotion ranks for public servants are:

EO (Executive Officer) 1-5
DEO (Deputy Executive Officer) 1-5
HSoA (High Servant of Aeisonia) 1-8
MSoA (Middle Servant of Aeisonia) 1-8
SoA (Servant of Aeisonia) 1-10
PSoA (Probationary Servant of Aeisonia) 1-3
GI (Government Intern)

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The Aeisonian Patriot Party
The current party in power, the APP is headed by The President under an iron fist, and aims to boost the economy, Aeisonia's national obedience, and its secularity. It does this by taking many new exciting steps, such as:
- Legalizing Slavery
- Legalizing Child Labor
- Repealing emissions limits
- Increasing business subsidization
- Increasing government corruption rates tenfold
- Enforcing a curfew

And many other loved policies. Vote for the APP this election year!







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The Factbook for RP Godmodders

Aeisonia is a superpower on its planet, and has little to no dominance within outer space. When you're roleplaying with us, godmodding isn't a very social thing to do to a civilization who hasn't even left The Solar System. Using any type of "Planet Destroyer" or overpowered military will result in Aeisonia's most powerful and ridiculous military assets to be unleashed.

The Jesus Gun

Like the name says, the Jesus Gun shoots live Jesuses at enemy forces. All Jesus Guns also come equipped with "Jesus AimbotTM", which will allow Jesus to shoot you without aiming. When a Jesus lands nearby you, he will grab you by the neck and fly you down to hell, where you will rot and burn forever.

The Physics Ignorer

After figuring out that guns aren't very effective when trying to shoot someone on the other side of the Earth, Aeisonian scientists came up with a gun that ignores all matter besides its target's body. It also comes with Jesus Aimbot so watch out lol.

Watergun filled with piss

After developing the Physics Ignorer, Aeisonian scientists really needed to pee, but the only thing they had were waterguns. This watergun has an unlimited range and can shoot down dumbass, forum tag ignoring cruisers with one shot from literally anywhere.

Crusader Armour


Galaxy Deleter

It's the remote from Adam Sandler's Click. How did we get it? You tell me!

Infinity Gauntlet

Wielded by Robert Downey Jr. himself, the Infinity Gauntlet can literally do anything and we have like 50 quadrillion of them or something lol.

Le Monke

Give up.

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The Official Map of Aeisonia

Aeisonia is set in a alternate post-apocalyptic United States, in which the industrial revolution happened much earlier and the human race had no knowledge of what emissions were doing to the planet, leading to wide-scale governmental collapse and panic around 1930, at which point they realised that most low-lying an/or warm territory was doomed. The US and Canada both fell apart in about 1950 after the US attempted to invade Canada to get access to more temperate farming land to feed their dwindling population. With little access to fuel and food, the invasion failed, but succeeded in causing such widespread unrest that both countries both collapsed into squabbling mini-states. After about 110 years, a small nation based out of Delaware called the Commune of Aeisons swept across the former US and Canada, and quickly instituted order and a working economic system. The Aeison's goal was to create a version of the US that could be easily kept in check by the government. After the final battle of Vegas, the Aeisonian army declared victory in the United States and Canada, and renamed themselves the Federation of Aeisonia. Within a few years, society had flourished once more, and Aeisonia prospered. Scientific progress was now creeping along again, as were the economy. Birth rates were rising and great cities rose from the ground. The Aeisonian Federation gained new military and civilian tech faster than ever, and something that looked like the old world was starting to take shape.

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