by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 2ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 4th
The Ongoing State of
Democratic Socialists
We Are A Bush. Move Along.
Influence
Hermit
Founder
Civil Rights
Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Good

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Absentia

Population37.664 billion

CapitalThe Middle of Nowhere
Leaderyouse

Currencyerg
Animalcambot

The Ongoing State of Absentia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by youse with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, anti-smoking policies, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 37.664 billion Absentians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Middle of Nowhere. The average income tax rate is 3.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absentian economy, worth an astonishing 19,847 trillion ergs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 526,950 ergs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news, solid-gold toilets are Absentian prisons' least expensive furnishings, and every week is blindness awareness week. Crime is totally unknown. Absentia's national animal is the cambot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Absentia is ranked 206,494th in the world and 1st in CDW Federation for Most Avoided, scoring 0.23 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Top
1%
Most Secular: 2ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 4thSmartest Citizens: 11thHighest Poor Incomes: 64thHighest Economic Output: 76thHighest Disposable Incomes: 101stHealthiest Citizens: 131stMost Developed: 155thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 170thLongest Average Lifespans: 177thLargest Populations: 226thHighest Average Incomes: 231stMost Inclusive: 297thMost Efficient Economies: 317thMost Rebellious Youth: 451stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 451stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 524thRudest Citizens: 576thLargest Publishing Industry: 620thMost Beautiful Environments: 693rdLargest Black Market: 801stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,115thMost Stationary: 1,194thLargest Governments: 1,285thLargest Retail Industry: 1,370thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,882ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,044thTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 2,095thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,674thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,345thSafest: 3,812thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,169thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,337thMost Cultured: 4,397thMost Pacifist: 7,354thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,150thLowest Crime Rates: 8,559thMost Influential: 8,792ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,794thTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,122nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Absentia voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Public Access to Court Records".
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, every week is blindness awareness week.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, solid-gold toilets are Absentian prisons' least expensive furnishings.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news.
  • : Absentia voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Wallenburg".
  • : Absentia voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Wartime Journalism Protection Act"".
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, it is impossible to get any work done as auditors swarm every inch of government factories and mines.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentia, Youse's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies.

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