The Ongoing State of Absentia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by youse with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, anti-smoking policies, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 37.664 billion Absentians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Middle of Nowhere. The average income tax rate is 3.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absentian economy, worth an astonishing 19,847 trillion ergs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 526,950 ergs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news, solid-gold toilets are Absentian prisons' least expensive furnishings, and every week is blindness awareness week. Crime is totally unknown. Absentia's national animal is the cambot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Absentia is ranked 206,494^th in the world and 1^st in CDW Federation for Most Avoided, scoring 0.23 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.