by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 128thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 194thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 339th
The Free Land of
Left-wing Utopia
Go Away
Civil Rights
World Benchmark
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population14.935 billion


The Free Land of Abkhazway is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 14.935 billion Abkhazwayans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Abkhazwayian economy, worth a remarkable 2,488 trillion Seashells a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is an impressive 166,644 Seashells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The ruling party has a devil of a time keeping order in the ranks, glamping Abkhazwayans won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi, pausing for applause during a speech is seen as a form of censorship, and a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. Crime is totally unknown. Abkhazway's national animal is the Mantis, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Abkhazway is ranked 339th in the world and 7th in Balder for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 22,537.24 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.

Largest Welfare Programs: 128thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 194thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 339thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 401stMost Advanced Public Education: 606thMost Rebellious Youth: 684thMost Advanced Public Transport: 711thMost Income Equality: 723rdMost Pacifist: 747thMost Cheerful Citizens: 747thHighest Average Tax Rates: 936thMost Cultured: 1,039thNicest Citizens: 1,092ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,271stMost Beautiful Environments: 1,289thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,340thMost Developed: 1,467thHighest Food Quality: 1,556thLargest Governments: 1,587thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,776thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,837thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,876thMost Inclusive: 2,279thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,383rdTop
Best Weather: 2,654thSmartest Citizens: 2,659thSafest: 2,727thHealthiest Citizens: 3,049thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,180thHighest Drug Use: 3,296thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,835thLowest Crime Rates: 5,187thHighest Economic Output: 6,731stNudest: 10,222ndHighest Average Incomes: 11,039thMost Efficient Economies: 11,564thTop
Most Secular: 13,676thMost Politically Free: 18,664thLargest Populations: 18,668thMost Extreme: 21,839thMost Scientifically Advanced: 22,763rd
Largest Welfare Programs: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 11th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 13th in the regionMost Income Equality: 16th in the regionMost Pacifist: 16th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 20th in the regionNicest Citizens: 23rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 27th in the regionMost Cultured: 31st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 31st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 33rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 34th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 34th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 43rd in the regionLargest Governments: 48th in the regionMost Developed: 51st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 53rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 61st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 62nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 67th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 67th in the regionMost Inclusive: 74th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 83rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 94th in the regionTop
Best Weather: 111th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 116th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 120th in the regionSafest: 123rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 158th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 238th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 251st in the regionNudest: 357th in the regionLargest Populations: 421st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 439th in the regionMost Politically Free: 441st in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 488th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 517th in the regionMost Extreme: 535th in the regionMost Secular: 730th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Abkhazway's influence in Balder rose from "Nipper" to "Minnow".
  • : Abkhazway's influence in Balder fell from "Minnow" to "Nipper".
  • : Abkhazway's influence in Balder rose from "Nipper" to "Minnow".
  • : Abkhazway was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Abkhazway was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies and the Top 10% for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Abkhazway was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
  • : Abkhazway's influence in Balder rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Abkhazway's influence in Balder rose from "Zero" to "Newcomer".
  • : Abkhazway was refounded in Balder.
  • : Abkhazway ceased to exist in Balder.


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