The Kingdom of Abetton is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Latimer with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.491 billion Abettonians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sauville. The average income tax rate is 63.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Abettonian economy, worth 693 trillion Abetton florins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 126,366 Abetton florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Foreigners are treated with great suspicion, exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed, the right school tie opens more doors than the right qualification, and exports are stamped with "made by the invisible hand you commies". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abetton's national animal is the Stallion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Abetton Polytheism.

Abetton is ranked 64,804^th in the world and 44^th in Greater Dienstad for Healthiest Citizens, with 5.22 bananas ingested per day.