The Empire of Thelvia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Caraic Kelvanis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.582 billion Thelvians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thelia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.2%.

The thriving Thelvian economy, worth 523 trillion Salrics a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is 93,795 Salrics, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

Emperor Caraic Kelvanis's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, the government has an entire department dedicated to staring at microscopes and writing down letters, travellers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs, and the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Thelvia's national animal is the Dire Raptor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Zendricism.

Thelvia is ranked 131,983^rd in the world and 1^st in Cytherium for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.55 law-abiding acts per hour.