The Keeper of the Elder Academia of Mestovakia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Cardinal with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The cynical, humorless population of 23.795 billion Citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Academia. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Citizen economy, worth a remarkable 7,022 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 295,145 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', retired racing Herons are served truffles for breakfast, and crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mestovakia's national animal is the Heron, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is A Major Religion.

Mestovakia is ranked 4,178^th in the world and 109^th in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 120.91 law-abiding acts per hour.