The Federation of Lioniel is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Alfonzo D Ferguson with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, anti-smoking policies, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, cynical population of 20.692 billion Lionielians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Catalania. The average income tax rate is 56.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lionielia economy, worth a remarkable 3,547 trillion Patronuses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 171,447 Patronuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rural children are told reading's important (for other people), Lioniel's airwaves are dominated by corporate-backed commercial radio, collisions between bicycles and carnival floats are on the rise, and Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lioniel's national animal is the Narwhal, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Lioniel is ranked 2,156^th in the world and 112^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 142 law-abiding acts per hour.