The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, parental licensing program, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 38.66 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 48,041 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,242,655 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, Despoticanian tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, and frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 86^th in the world and 2^nd in The Alliance of Dictators for Lowest Crime Rates, with 291.3 law-abiding acts per hour.