The Island of Crete is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, ruled by Stavros Arnaoutakis with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service. The hard-working population of 32.476 billion Cretans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Spirituality, with Law & Order, Defense, and Industry also on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 33.2%.

The strong Cretan economy, worth a remarkable 1,364 trillion drachmas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 42,015 drachmas, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Stavros Arnaoutakis has just been declared ruler of Crete in an international press conference, abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, the government is seen to favor Catholics, and parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crete's national animal is the dolphin.

Crete is ranked 130,636^th in the world and 88^th in Department Store for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,810.58 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.