The Commonwealth of Apatchai is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Tom Oaks with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 4.621 billion Apatchaians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Stick. The average income tax rate is 52.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Apatchaian economy, worth 220 trillion pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 47,713 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits, the police insist that racism does not exist, making up random numbers to name new asteroids is the bulk of astronomers' work, and the nation's apology for those it has executed in the last year has come a little late for some. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apatchai's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Great Spirit.

Apatchai is ranked 216,363^rd in the world and 3^rd in The Hub for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 25.25 on the Hayek Index.