by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 2,097thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,421stHealthiest Citizens: 4,280th
The Lesbian Waifu Imperium of
Father Knows Best State
How far will you go for Absolon?
Lord Bismarck
Influence
Hegemony
Founder
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Absolon-7

Population11.592 billion

CapitalBerlin
LeaderLord Bismarck
FaithWaifuism

Currencywaifu coins
AnimalMoose

The Lesbian Waifu Imperium of Absolon-7 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Lord Bismarck with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 11.592 billion Absols are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Berlin. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absolen economy, worth a remarkable 1,640 trillion waifu coins a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 141,504 waifu coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens, the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only, and parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Absolon-7's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Waifuism.

Absolon-7 is ranked 3,421st in the world and 1st in The Absalom Realm for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 61.83 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Top
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 2,097thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,421stHealthiest Citizens: 4,280thNicest Citizens: 4,537thLowest Crime Rates: 4,673rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,032ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 5,068thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,429thMost Developed: 7,007thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,432ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,639thLargest Governments: 7,733rdMost Cultured: 8,132ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,257thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8,649thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,871stMost Pacifist: 9,254thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,372ndMost Advanced Public Education: 9,435thBest Weather: 9,550thHighest Economic Output: 9,575thSafest: 10,279thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 11,269thMost Efficient Economies: 11,552ndSmartest Citizens: 11,814thLargest Publishing Industry: 12,285thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,592ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,350thLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,634thMost Beautiful Environments: 13,704thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,171stMost Secular: 15,470thHighest Average Incomes: 15,473rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17,564thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 18,343rdMost Stationary: 18,656thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,896thLargest Welfare Programs: 19,132nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens.
  • : Absolon-7 was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Safest.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, the recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, war vets look after war animals.
  • : Absolon-7 was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Absolon-7 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolon-7, internet flame wars have been known to cause real-world casualties.

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