by Max Barry

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9003 was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 311
Most Valuable International Artwork: 27thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 49thFattest Citizens: 53rd
The ⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜ of
Corporate Police State
ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ ♪ ♫ |̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅| ♫ ♪ ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population25.026 billion


Currency𓆏 𓆏 𓆏 𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏

The ⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜ of 9003 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by ⬞⬞⬞ with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.026 billion public filth are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Education receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Angband. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Slave to the man economy, worth a remarkable 8,596 trillion 𓆏 𓆏 𓆏 𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 343,503 𓆏 𓆏 𓆏 𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏s, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,195,560 per year while the poor average 3,368, a ratio of 948 to 1.

If foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to 9003, women mime their gynaecological symptoms with hand-puppets, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging, and children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. 9003's national animal is the human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is 9002ism.

9003 is ranked 294,597th in the world and 6,459th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 0.91 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 27thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 49thFattest Citizens: 53rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 81stMost Avoided: 94thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 109thMost Primitive: 152ndMost Corrupt Governments: 161stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 201stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 213thHighest Crime Rates: 215thLargest Mining Sector: 243rdMost Armed: 246thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 282ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 329thHighest Drug Use: 348thHighest Disposable Incomes: 532ndLargest Insurance Industry: 540thLargest Retail Industry: 571stRudest Citizens: 598thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 840thHighest Economic Output: 1,190thMost Efficient Economies: 1,297thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,517thMost Patriotic: 1,744thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,747thHighest Average Incomes: 1,889thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,930thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,208thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,419thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,915thTop
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,759thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,435thLargest Governments: 6,800thLargest Populations: 8,153rdMost Rebellious Youth: 8,320thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 12,502ndMost Influential: 13,080thMost Secular: 13,641stNudest: 13,966thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 19,393rdLargest Black Market: 24,478thMost Pro-Market: 25,648th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 9th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 10th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 11th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 15th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 15th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 21st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 28th in the regionRudest Citizens: 31st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 33rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 39th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 42nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 49th in the regionMost Patriotic: 50th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 52nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 58th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 61st in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 76th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 82nd in the regionLargest Populations: 102nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 115th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 147th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 169th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 241st in the regionNudest: 288th in the regionLargest Governments: 310th in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 329th in the regionLargest Black Market: 357th in the regionMost Extreme: 402nd in the regionMost Secular: 447th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in 9003, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, women mime their gynaecological symptoms with hand-puppets.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to 9003.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, the morbidly obese often sell stock options on their own corpses.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, the might of the entire Slave to the man Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, many believe that the only good human is a dead human.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, on graduation day the hats thrown in the air fly high enough to stun passing pigeons.