The Nation formally by the name of 9003 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Great Goblin with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, keen interest in outer space, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.693 billion public filth are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordor. The average income tax rate is 2.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slave to the man economy, worth a remarkable 4,589 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 312,390 gold bars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Political satirists and late night comedians weep as the government begins cleaning up its act, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent, tourists are flocking to the newly-built MeteorLand family resort, and national chefs believe that you can eat anything so long as you deep fry it first. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. 9003's national animal is the human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is 9002ism.

9003 is ranked 133,513^th in the world and 31^st in Mordor for Highest Drug Use, scoring 19.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.