The Armed Republic of 3rd CULSONIA is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Prefect Staler with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.77 billion 3rd CULSONIAians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Culsonitople. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.7%.

The frighteningly efficient 3rd CULSONIAian economy, worth 596 trillion Lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 158,157 Lire, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,095,316 per year while the poor average 8,025, a ratio of 136 to 1.

A stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, the easiest method of escaping from prison is to take singing lessons, the nation is automatically assumed to be the source of all unmarked weapons, and it's illegal to be caught on tape. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 3rd CULSONIA's national animal is the Chimera, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Stalerism.

3rd CULSONIA is ranked 290,137^th in the world and 3,259^th in the Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 45.7 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.